"I want to see you.
Know your voice.
Recognize you when you first come 'round the corner.
Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left.
Know the lift of your heel,
The glide of your foot.
Become familiar with the way you purse your lips
Then let them part, just the slightest bit,
When I lean in to your space and kiss you.
I want to know the joy
Of how you whisper
-- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (b. 1207, d. 1273-12-17)
[I know I'm mixing things up a bit, quoting a Sufi on a Catholic holiday, but for the way mainstream culture thinks about St. Valentine's Day, this felt perfect.]
I cannot state with certainty that that's a reason why I am in less pain today, but I think it contributes. Anger, frustration and such are gut feelings; I don't want them to externalize and contribute to physical ailments. Also, bodily experiences are stored in the body -- the mind just organizes retrieval. So clearing things a bit is likely to release a bit of tangled-up energy that could be better used in healing.
It's going to be an ongoing project for a while.
And in the spirit of this: I know that I have screwed up badly with some people in fandom. Some I know why and remember; some I have no idea. I am going to make the comments here private; if I have offended or hurt you and you would like to sort it out with me and get an apology, please comment. It will all be private. I really don't like being at outs with people, and I've known for years that I am missing any number of Social Graces, perhaps in part because of generational differences in a lot of areas. I mess things up. I want to un-mess them, if possible, acknowledged where I fucked up, and apologize.
This is in no way Clearing the Decks for Death or anything similar. I just want to loosen the accumulation of psychic/psychological stuff that might be affecting my physical health, and this is something that I can do. And yes, even though this is self-serving, I do mean it -- I would like to make things right, or at least better, where they are not. (If you feel this is too self-serving, you are free to tell me that in the comments also.)
From the Quotation of the day mailing list, 2016-01-25:
(submitted to the mailing list by Manavendra Thakur)
"I want to thank the neutrinos, of course. And since neutrinos are created by cosmic rays, I want to thank them, too." -- Takaaki Kajita of the University of Tokyo, at a news conference after he shared the 2015 Nobel prize in physics.
[Happy birthday to realinterrobang!]
Here's my question: would they be Sephardic, Ashkenazi, or something else? I have no clue.
In other matters, I have watched all four available seasons of Person of Interest, as well as Longmire, and many other things. Anyone want to suggest multiple-season shows I might like? Something a little lighter? Not cop, not medical. Would prefer something not dark or horror-ish. Send me to silly? Talk to me about anime that is Netflix-streamable, or K-pop, or some European thing I never heard of? Silly fun romance movies that are not utterly stupid? I have also been watching Isabella Rosselini's Green Porno, and a fun, unhinged series about Street Food Around The World.
On the less fun side, I have had to cancel my attendance at a conference I had been dearly looking forward to, a weekend in a month or two that will be concerned with the mythology and stories and lore of the tales of Orpheus. The teacher is not often in my neck of the woods, and I've been in her classes before and like her a lot. But I need to give myself time to heal, and I've been ill a month already -- it will take time before I'm up to spending a weekend in a hotel and several hours a day in lectures and workshops. I also had to postpone getting my hair trimmed -- but that just means I get time to come up with new and different ways to play with all of it before it's cut, so, not that bad.
When you knit for someone else, how do you price it? Here are suggestions.
Because beauty needs no excuse: The Book of Kells, digitized. A little faded from in person -- the lights for scanning went through the translucent parchment in ways that you might not see in person -- but it is glorious.
It's been an interesting.....time. For the last few weeks, I keep thinking about stuff I want to post here but being too busy/rushed/stressed out to do it. What changed today: am at a pop culture conference where I can hang out with a friend from my active LOTR days (undonne!), and we had a great talk at breakfast about how we both slid out of active fandom and why and what that meant. Then I went to a FANtastic session of fan studies where there were two superb and one pretty good paper that reignited my love of aca-fandom. One of the excellent ones was on the changes in A/B/O slash fandom in the Supernatural universe, and I was just all OMG! I must read (I remember A/B/O looming on the horizion back in the day and being rather repulsed by some of the rhetoric around it and some of the way I was perceiving it (something along the lines of how much it seemed a way around issues of consent, rooted in biological essentialism, gender stereotypes, etc.), and the presenter did talk about that but also did a fantastic brilliant sophisticated analysis of how some very recent fics are working to subvert those elements.
( Cut for length gawd it's a long time since I wrote anything like that )
1. The increasingly high burden of job applications. When I was first applying for librarian jobs, I basically just had to submit a cover letter and resume; now, I'm very often having to submit answers to essay questions. Preparing a list of all the books I've read in a year could take a significant amount of time. I think it's unreasonable to ask someone to put that much time into an application when there are a couple hundred other people applying for a job.
2. The EEOC says that you cannot discriminate in employment on the basis of age, disability, national origin, race, religion, or sex. Some states have laws against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. That's why HR people say you shouldn't even make small talk about someone's religious jewelry in a job interview -- because it raises the possibility that it might turn into an issue. But based on a list of books a person reads, it seems all too easy to draw up a profile of what kind of person they are and what protected categories might apply to them, and discriminate (even subconsciously) on that basis.
There have to be better ways to get at "Do you read a lot, do you read widely, how would you do in reader's advisory situations" than asking for my Diary Of Books Read Which Contains Many Personal Feelings.
"One of the things I would like to see with the candidates is not just for them to come up with a bunch of policies, but to indicate that they're willing to listen to what we have to say. I think it would be amazing if a candidate was asked a disability question and they said - 'You know, I don't really know, but I would love to hear what the disability community thinks.'" -- Andrew Pulrang, quoted in "The 2016 conversation has ignored disabled people. Now, they want to be heard." by Caitlin Gibson, 2016-02-10 in The Washington Post
"I believe that you may become worthier than you have ever yet been -- worthy to lead a life that may be a blessing. No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from. You have made efforts -- you will go on making them." -- Daniel Deronda to Gwendolen Harleth, in the novel Daniel Deronda (1876) by George Eliot (aka Mary Ann Evans; b. 1819-11-22, d. 1880-12-22)
[To everyone celebrating Ash Wednesday today, may you have a peaceful and spirityually fullfilling Lent.]
"Although for the most part it hath but a small production hidden under the Nymphes [==labia], and hard to be felt but with curiosity, yet sometimes it groweth to such a length that it hangeth without the cleft like a man's member, especially when it is fretted with the touch of the cloaths, and so strutteth and groweth to a rigidity as doth the yard of a man. And this part it is which those wicked women do abuse called Tribades (often mentioned by many authors, and in some states worthily punished) to their mutual and unnatural lusts.
The use of this part is the same with the bridle of the yard [==the frenulum of the penis]; for because the Testicles of the women [==ovaries] are far distant from the yard [==penis] of the man, the imagination is carried to the spermatical vessels by the motion and attrition of this Clitoris, together with the lower ligatures of the womb, whose original [==the cervix] toucheth, cleaveth and is tied to the leading vessels of the seed. And so the profusion of their seed is stirred up for generation, for which business it was not necessary it should be large. Wherefore although by this passage their seed is not ejaculated, yet by the attrition of it their imagination is wrought to call that out that lieth deeply hidden in the body, and hence it is called "aestrum Veneris" & "dulcedo amoris". For in it with the ligaments inserted into it is, the especial seat of delight in their veneral embracements, as [Renaldus] Columbus imagineth he first discovered.
For Nature [...] hath given to all creatures both the instruments of conception, and hath also infused into them a strange and violent kind of delight, that none of the kinds of the creatures should perish but remain ever (after a sort) immortal. And truly it was very necessary that there should be a kind of pleasant force or violence in the Nature of mankind to transport him out of himself, or beside himself as it were, in the act of generation; to which otherwise (being master of himself) he would hardly have been drawn; which ecstasy (for it is called a little epilepsy, or falling sickness) is caused by the touch of the seed upon the nervous and quick-sensed parts as it passeth by them."
Thanx to andrewducker
And now Twitter has noticed that Facebook is more popular and keeps trying to switch from putting posts in boring old chronological order to an algorithmic order like Facebook’s. theferrett discusses.
Same thing? No, worse. Pepsi drinkers drink Pepsi because they like how it tastes. All those people who go to DragonCon presumably enjoy what DragonCon does and don’t wish they were at Worldcon instead. But Facebook is full of people (me, for instance) who wish it would give us posts in chronological order instead of in the order Facebook (and its advertisers) insist is what we really want.
"[...] Last season's fruit is eaten
And the fullfed beast shall kick the empty pail.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice."
-- from "Little Gidding" (1942) by T. S. Eliot (b. 1888-09-26, d. 1965-01-04)
[Happy new year to everyone celebrating the start of the Year of the Monkey! May you have joy and prosperity!]
Peter and Mickey spend the hour in coversation with Elliot D. Cohen. In his latest book, “The Technology of Oppression,” Cohen explores the many ways that federal agencies are spying on Americans, and offers proposals to rein in these invasions of privacy. Elliot D. Cohen writes about information technology, as well as mass-media ethics and […]
"They now factor in awed-ness when astronauts go up. So Tim Peake, when he went out on his first ever EVA, when he went outside the ship ... They used to have a really tight schedule -- 'Go straight here!' -- they now factor in time because any astronaut who would go outside would find themself just going 'Oh my God, I'm hanging in space, I'm looking at the planet Earth!' and they never factored in time for that. So they're now giving 'awe time', where you can just go 'Aww,' and then get on with your work. So 'awe time' is now a thing." -- Dan Schreiber on the No Such thing As A Fish podcast, episode #98: "No Such Thing As Planet George", 2016-01-28 (about 0:06:34 to 0:07:02)